100 Word Challenge Week #12


Its Saturday afternoon and I am really energetic. My family and me are going to Virtual Reality Game Park. We hurried in line. After we got in we went to the jungle VR but the battery was getting low. So we walked over to get lunch I got a sandwich. When we were done I saw VR haunted house I sprinted over to check it out. I put the headset on and started it. The second I started it there was a white vampire, I jumped and the headset went flying of and it sadly broke. It was so embarrassing for us!

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 29, 2017 at 9:33 AM

    i think you could use more descriptive words e.g there was a white terrifying vampire.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 29, 2017 at 9:35 AM

    i like how you had your words where spread out

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownNovember 29, 2017 at 9:37 AM

    i think you need to find new words for in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TheBigDream6November 29, 2017 at 10:07 AM

    I think you should put more descriptive language and describing words e.g. Ham sandwich. You did good on not repeating words.

    ReplyDelete

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